Last November, I was fired from my job that supported me and my little family here in Raleigh, NC just three days before Thanksgiving. Ever since, it has seemed like we have been fighting a steep, uphill battle just to survive. Here are just a few of the misfortunes I've encountered since:
- Expected $12,000 in housing aide, tax returns, and other financial income from February
- May of 2022 - we only received $3,500 in tax returns, resulting in $8,500 budget shortcoming.
- Unemployed for 8 months, despite applying for jobs daily & learning full-stack web development.
- Evicted from apartment after Rental Assistance decided to just not pay assistance they had already promised.
- Expected $5,000 from one web project, $4,9000 from another, and $300 from another website project - All three ended up not paying me despite completing 2 out of 3 jobs.
- "A friend" stayed in our apartment after we were evicted against our permission and knowledge, racking up $3,000 in extra apartment charges for staying after we were supposed to be out and trashing the place.
There are other unfortunate things that have happened, but I won't get into everything else. I have tried to maintain a positive attitude and have continued to trudge forward through adversity and hard times. I have advanced to very quickly as a full-stack web developer, started a digital agency, and am currently mentoring three new web development students. The bright spot during these dark times has been my resiliency and learning and applying my skills as a web developer in a creative manner.
However, being unemployed over the last 8 months has taken a financial and mental toll on me that feels like it is grinding me down to a level that almost feels insurmountable to recover from. I finally landed a job as a server, but I absolutely hate it and I won't make enough to likely even cover bills this month. My amazing partner Lisa, is an angel and saves lives working at the North Carolina Harm Reduction Coalition, but she barely makes $1,000 every two weeks. The fact that we have survived for 8 months is truly astounding and speaks to our commitment and love for one another.
But I'm now at a point where I feel my passion is declining and I am stuck in a stressed out mindset where I can barely think about what I can do to just get through the day without having my mind fixated on how hungry, broke, and scared I am. We have - $5 in the bank, with rent due today ($1,349) and my two most important work devices, my MacBook Pro (M1 Chip) and iMac Desktop Computer sitting in the pawn shop and I feel like I am not getting them back with this server job. All of my hard work over the last 8 months is stored on those two machines, and I had to pawn them for a measly $450 just to keep our phones turned on and to pay for a little bit of food.
I spent the weekend in a panic after working at this server job for the last week and not earning any money in tips yet - I hate serving food with a college degree and it makes me feel so far from what I am capable of doing as a programmer. I just have not been given an opportunity to show what I can do.
I have come to this conclusion after thinking for some time yesterday - I create more value when I am working on my own projects and really need a chance to show what I can do when I don't have to worry about finances, shelter, food - just my basic necessities.
I have created some pretty amazing things in the last 8 months, just by teaching myself programming and putting in long hours (Often times 18 hour days of coding at my computer).
I absolutely love programming and developing things that solve problems for other humans. Yesterday, I just finished up the website design for an app for a well known NFT artist and web developer, Israel Wilson, for a social media platform that promotes diversity and inclusion in the Web 3.0 space. Israel and I both believe in providing opportunities for those who don't have the advantages that many successful finance and tech people have.
The only problem is - I can't really provide opportunities for others when I barely can afford to eat one meal a day. I honestly have put in so much effort trying to get a job and even more effort in trying to make it as a developer - I have hit a crossing point where I am afraid if I don't ask for help, I will lose my home and my full-stack developer career in the process.
I now am down to one shitty Lenovo computer and without my two most important work tools because they are sitting on the shelves of a pawn shop. If I can't figure out how to come up with another $600 by this week, I will likely be kicked out of my apartment and I don't think I will make it long on the street.
So here I am...
I have learned to ask for help - I already did a couple months back to help me and Lisa from being homeless - but it is still a difficult thing for me to do. But the nature of the last 8 months is something that is baffling and has really hurt because I feel like I have put everything I have into life and learning a new, challenging skill that is supposed to bear fruitful rewards for taking the difficult path of software and web development.
I'm coming up on two years of sobriety - yet I am at the lowest of my lows financially and in my career. Almost two years ago is also the anniversary of when I almost made the mistake of taking my own fate into my own hands, briefly experiencing the icy dark grasp of something I never want to know again until it truly is my time to go.
I have lost a lot of friends and feel like a black sheep at times in society because of the pain and trauma I've experienced over the last few years. Somehow though, I've managed to hang on - thanks to my best friend and partner and some special family members and people who have picked me up on this hard path I've walked for so long.
My ability to write, create, and think has also kept me a long for the ride and critical thinking and programming are things that make me excited to wake up in the morning. I love the challenge of creating websites and software, and am excited by the possibilities that it can bring to our world. My empathy and compassion for others has kept my heart full of love and enough happiness to outlast the deep sadness I've felt for so long.
If you didn't feel like reading all of that - I don't blame you. I at least urge you to read this part because this is what I am fundraising for.
I am trying to get my life back on track by taking care of some expenses that have piled on and made living impossible - rent, bills, and equipment that is necessary for my career development. I haven't earned a penny in web development by the conventional route, so I am going to try something different.
If you want to contribute to my fund, I would be so grateful, and promise your funds will be allocated in very productive and meaningful ways, down to the last penny. I also want to give contributors a say in what I do for work, if they so choose, and am allowing donors to choose which projects I focus my time on.
If you don't care about that, but need help from a web developer in your life, I will provide my services for free to anyone who needs it (in a reasonable manner - don't hire me for a 6th month project for $10) and will create products that help those in need. Every dollar that is donated will be put towards making me a better human and a better developer - and I will share that success onto others in any way I can. Whether that is as a friend, mentor, or working for your project that you hired me for.
I am doing this because I really don't know what else to do at this point but to ask for your help in donating to my campaign - if you donate at least $50, you will get some apparel or digital product in return if you would like it. I will also build an app, create a website, do whatever work you need in exchange for donations - if you don't choose anything to allocate my capital towards, I will allocate it towards my most popular projects and the ones that help the most people.
I am about to release a podcast where I will go into more detail. I also have a Patreon page that I need to add value to for people to appreciate it and plan on starting a YouTube channel to create programming tutorials for new developers.
All of these things take time, effort and money - I guarantee if you invest in my success, the quality of my work will be much greater than it currently is.
I'm sorry for the long story - I just finished a storytelling sprint and thought it was an appropriate time to try and tell my own story in a way is also a cry for help to get me back on the right track, where I have been trying to get for almost ten 6 or 7 years now.
Please help fund my projects, and if you can't afford it/don't feel like a contribution is adding enough value to you for your money, please share this with your friends, colleagues, and family - strangers can be the biggest surprises in life and you never know who might benefit from crossing paths with me, or visa versa.
Check my fundraiser to vote for projects and/or categories you'd like to see me get more active with and work on. I'll also list out websites I've created and what other resources you can benefit.
With Love and an Open Heart, Andrew